CAPTAIN'S BLOG
Finally, I feel like I've begun to turn the corner.
I hate all the garbage that I produce while processing things - especially what ends up here is often an emotionally charged version of what I'm talking about. That is my writing style, and it is unfortunate that the people I am writing about often don't appreciate it. But it's true that text has the authority of permanence that adds to its power. It is regrettable, as my thoughts and feelings inevitably change over time. In any case, I met someone new this week. Inevitably, you came up. We talked about my decision to email you. It has not been a popular decision. I'm sure you will not appreciate it. Hopefully you read it - hopefully it will give you something to think about. I know I've had my fair share. At least now I feel like I have some sort of closure. I never get the kind I want, but hopefully the nightmares will go away. Regardless of the cause and effect of my decision way back when, it happened. Without input from my cousin, I can't decide if what I did was wrong, and I think that is fair. I do know me, and I know that I never wanted to take advantage of anyone. My attraction to my cousin was based on the assumed trust that comes with family and friendship - that plus my situation at that time lead me down the path that I took. What I learned about you however is more relevant to now, however. No doubt, you have your reasons for reacting the way you did and I don't blame you for that. I don't think it was fair, however. You did not handle this situation well at all. I understand that too. These kinds of things can definitely interfere with ones ability to communicate. But you don't seem to have that level of understanding for me. This is why I generally avoid dating young people. You lack the emotional maturity to handle the complexity of this situation. And of course you do - you're young. Just like my cousin and me, way back when. Ah, these one sentence paragraphs are frustrating me. It is the structure of a drawn out conclusion. So I'll just say that I miss you, and I hope you're doing allright out there. On balance, I think of you fondly. Don't take any fireworks to the face tonight.
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AuthorChristina Hitchens is a trans female writer living in BC, Canada. She loves computers, animals, and a good argument. Archives
March 2022
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