CAPTAIN'S BLOG
So I listened to this podcast yesterday, and I'm not convinced. It sounds like a strange attempt at making a creationist or religious explanation for the universe's existence.
He uses the Well Tuned argument to suggest that the universe is so well tuned as to be suspicious of a creator, which inspires no confidence. Lawrence Krauss has spoken much more convincingly on this point, saying "It is no surprise that we find ourselves inside of the only type of universe that it is possible for us to inhabit." All of the other universes that may have existed but with universal constants of a different nature, ones which preclude life, have no life, and thus, no one to worry about the imperfection of their universal constants. His other statements about the convenience of having a moon and so on are also painfully unaware of how often rare things happen in the universe, simply due to its size. And sure enough: life seems rare indeed. These all seem like strange arguments to use in support of biocentrism, however, his other arguments fair no better. From the Wiki entry on Biocentrism: "Biocentrism states that life and biology are central to being, reality, and the cosmos—consciousness creates the universe rather than the other way around. " This is one of those Occam's Razor moments. That may be the case, but it seems unlikely, and it seems less likely than all of these things simply falling out of the universe as particles interact. Consciousness is not something that requires an additional explanation. It is an emerging theory, so it will be interesting to see what, if anything, comes of this, but it sounds like hoopla to me.
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So, I'm about one month post op.
All in all, it's been a great experience so far. I went to Montreal with my mother. I was very glad to have her there - her support and help have been utterly invaluable every step of the way. Having her there with me was a great opportunity for us to get closer together as mother and daughter. I didn't get to see much of the city, but I wasn't really in the mood for sightseeing, to be honest. We went to the big mall and went for a ride on their subway, which was cool - they have actual people driving their en-wheeled subway trams of considerable length! We got some bandanas for Marion - 5. Honey, dark red, light blue, rainbow, grey. Mum was kind enough to pay for them. She was and has been, indeed, exceedingly kind. Ah, to repay her sometime... Hopefully someday. We stayed in the B&B that everyone stays in with this unbelievably cliche french woman. She was old, abrupt, and severe. Big, thick glasses. An absurdly overwrought and expensively decorated house. A dangerous spiral staircase leading up to our room. Fish soup. Small portions. A young and attractive helper. I'm pretty sure I read a lesbian romance novel about this one. It was very pleasant there, however. Somewhat ironically, neither of us could figure out how the AC worked, but I need white noise to battle my tinnitus, so my attempts to leave it on "fan only" ended with us waking up at 3AM with it being 13C. Later that day, we had the lady of the house's husband tell me how to use it. Of course, he doesn't speak english, so after a concerted but utterly fruitless effort - despite my years of spanish and reading French on bottles and signs - he basically just told me never to use it. I agreed. We tried a few more times to figure it out, but never could. We also went to a little corner store down the street on our first day, as we were both worried about sleeping without smoking weed. Damn, I shoulda brought a vape pen. I'd highly recommend it, if you have trouble relaxing or being sober. Vaporizing marijuana could interact with your other medication, so be careful. Be honest with your doctor. I pressed Dr Brassard and he said that vaporizing marijuana after surgery is probably ok. My research indicates it is probably best to wait until after you've finished bleeding - so at least a couple of weeks. But everyone is different. Psychological wellbeing is important. I consider myself essentially dependent on marijuana for psychological wellbeing but I had no problems and no cravings while I was there. I quit smoking marijuana 4 days before surgery, when I arrived in Montreal. I quit smoking tobacco in any form three weeks before surgery, and I had no problems whatsoever doing that. I do miss putting peach primetimes in my joints, however, I have an alternative source. Anyways. We had to arrive in Montreal two nights before the surgery, as we couldn't get flights with Hope Air any earlier. Both Mum and I were able to fly for free thanks to them - we are both extremely grateful for their help. They are a charity organisation that is funded by donation, and they help Canadians fly to wherever they need to go for medical operations if they cannot afford to pay for flights themselves. Please donate to them if you can, and spread the word - especially in the trans community. They were extremely helpful and understanding and kind. They arranged flights for me and Mum with WestJet. It was funny though, because of my legal name not being changed yet (I should get the paperwork back any day now....) they thought the flight back was for three people. Me, my 'brother' deadname, and my mother. Funny! We picked up some liquor from a corner store and tried to find something in english to watch on TV while I played Factorio on Mum's old laptop. I'm using it now - it's proven to be a great little laptop. I really appreciate the touch screen, and it runs Factorio, my game of choice at the moment, with surprising ease, despite its lack of a discrete video card. The one in my old laptop is failing. Looks like A replacement is about 100$. Not bad. I might be able to afford that soon... with Marion's help. They've gotten a promotion at Tacofino and are working Top - heh - and they've said that I'll be looking for a dishwasher job in January, so hopefully that job will be basically waiting for me. It'll be really fun to work with Marion, I think. Goodness, how times have changed. Thank fuck for that. My second day in Montreal is when Mum and I went shopping. I saw McGill University, which is where my ex-best friend Aaron went to college, which he reminded me about several times. We went to the mall near there, and bought a few things. When we got back, the other girls had arrived. I met Bree, Jamie, and Nicola, who were all staying in the B&B with me. Another girl, Tavan, was I think also staying there, but she was sneaky. There was also an older French lady there, but communication was difficult. A Quebecois French girl was also there, Misaki. I socialized for a bit but ultimately found the talk very stimulating and was actually trying to sleep at a reasonable hour for some reason so I went to bed. Monday was the day of my consult. I'd be meeting Dr Brassard for the first time. When we got there however, it turned out he was going to be two hours late. Mum and I went for a walk, and several family members called to wish us both luck and show their support, which meant a lot to both of us. Soon, I saw the man who would usher me into the next phase of my life. I think I had looked at his picture once or twice, but I'd never really looked at him. I had no idea what he looked like. As always, he was shorter in person. And he is definitely quite handsome. In that Sam Harris sort of way. And very charming. Very kind and gentle. I definitely felt very safe. My mother, of course, cried after thanking him for what he was doing. No doubt, many, many people have done precisely that. It wasn't until I saw him the second time after surgery I think that I cried while thanking him. It's seriously amazing shit. And the way the body adapts is inspiring, to be honest. Biology is stunning in it's flexibility and beautiful in its plasticity, both physically, and neurologically. He was very humble in that very French sort of way. The impression is "I know I'm awesome, but I do need to hear it and appreciate it from time to time. If I wasn't doing genuine good, I would be doing something else that did.". It's a soothing kind of confidence. He took a peek at my parts in the next room - just a millisecond, really - and he said "Ok great, there's lots of tissue to work with here" and we were done. We got taxi'd back to the B&B, by an absolutely hilarious taxi driver, and I spent the rest of the day preparing for surgery the next morning. Shaving - damn, that was tough, I usually use cream to remove hair down there - douching, showering, the works. The girls were chatting downstairs, so I went and talked to them for much of the evening. It was a lot of fun. I always forget how much I enjoy socialising. It made me miss Marion, too. Socialising with them is always such a pleasure - ah, what a change! Social situations are a lot less anxious when I do not have to worry about my partner freaking out about something. A few people have mentioned the walking on eggshells effect. Marion certainly has no such debuff. I was feeling pretty nervous though and was again getting really into the conversation, which was giving me a concerning amount of energy, and I needed to get to sleep for surgery in the morning. I went to sleep totally sober that night for the first time in at least 5 years. Read More for Operation Day and my week in the Convalescent Home. |
AuthorChristina Hitchens is a trans female writer living in BC, Canada. She loves computers, animals, and a good argument. Archives
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