CAPTAIN'S BLOG
I have loved many people with neurological personality orders in my life, and I've been close to many more, including myself. Perhaps there is an as-yet undiagnosed personality disorder rattling around in my head - or maybe my ADHD is as disruptive in my interpersonal life as it is with my work life, making an additional disorder unnecessary.
I know what it is like both to struggle with impulses, thoughts, and feelings that are hard or impossible to control. To be so overwhelmed with emotional intensity as to have no other recourse but to relieve it directly, regardless of the consequences. I've been an angry teenage boy punching holes in the walls, and a heartbroken teenage girl experiencing terrible emotional pain crying for hours for weeks at a time. Trying to make people love me - and trying to hurt people any way I can. Trying to seek help any way I can - and trying to protect myself anyway I can. Sacrificing too much to get too little, while the people without disorders look on in confusion. It can be hard for onlookers to understand the nature and impact of someone's disorder on their behaviour. It can be even harder to figure out what to do about it - oftentimes the person seems locked into behaving a certain way. No matter the input, the output remains the same. Rage, sadness, or anxiety of a level that your average person has never experienced. The way that these emotions twist the behaviours of people in the moment, and over time, is what is often misunderstood, and what is wanted to be understood by people like me and the people I've loved. Read More for my thoughts on what people ought to know about the people in their lives with a personality disorder of one sort or another. How should we treat our friends, family, and loved ones who have the type of disorders that make it hard to love them? How should we feel when we decide someone isn't in the right place for us to stay near them? Millions of people across the world are faced with this very decision - whether that behavioural disorder is among the Cluster B personality disorders, one of the other categories, or comes with the falsely legitimizing label of "Religion".
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AuthorChristina Hitchens is a trans female writer living in BC, Canada. She loves computers, animals, and a good argument. Archives
March 2022
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